The Pastor's Ass

Got this from a friend of mine today via email (thanks Jon!) and had to share it with you all!
Enjoy!!

The Priest entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the
donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor
decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10!
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE!
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is....being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and
misery...and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about

everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

A Chance to Win $125,000

Having gone to Regent College, I now know that humans are nothing more than a parasite destroying its host by causing global warming. The Kyoto Treaty says so and so does Al Gore; that is good enough for me. The deniers don't have the love of Christ in their hearts. To all my friends who believe the science is a slam dunk, there is a contest which pays lots o' cash to the person who can scientifically prove that the climate is changing for the worse because of human activity. I hope someone at Regent wins the money because tuition is going through the roof.

My position is this: The climate gets warmer and cooler on its own. We should not be spending billions of dollars on a theory that places man in charge of the climate. In an sense it feels like Nebuchadnezzar standing on top of his palace declaring his sovereignty over all he sees. To think humans control the weather is arrogant. Spend the billions helping the poor get ready for the warmer weather that will probably last 200 more years (we've already experienced 100 years of warming and based on past warming cycles, it should be done in 200 years or so). Cleaning up pollution is a good thing. But let's not go over the falls in a barrel because of some fear-mongering.

mac

Dropping F-bombs With My Homey J

Seems to me that the current relevance movement within Christianity is nothing more than a 'I hope these people think I am cool' movement. Why, we Christians are willing to do almost anything to distance ourselves from the 'uncool' pejorative of Fundamentalism and throw some epithets at the old-school evangelicals ourselves. The younger Christians like to swear more and wear tattoos and get rowdy. I am wondering how this coolness is any different than the much maligned suburban Christian coolness which is marked by keeping up with the Joneses?

This trend towards the cool is starting to get on my nerves. Even at my College, there is a professor that many consider really cool. I wonder if it has anything to do with his propensity to speak with potty-mouth? I digress, it's cool to hate again, and there are certain groups out there that we are told it is okay to hate. In the name of the prophetic tradition, I have heard slanderous remarks made by professors and students alike towards other Christians. My favorite occurred at my dining room table when a young man said, "I think Reformed Theology is the greatest threat to the world." I called the man a bigot. I think I was right to do so.

Now, I have and continue to use the random expletive when I am frustrated or injured. What bothers me is the coarseness of language that betrays a coarseness of heart. This coarseness has allowed us to marginalize groups within the Church that we don't like. Just watch how certain people treat the so-called 'religious right' (I prefer to call them my brothers and sisters), and it is really cool to hate the 'religious right'. As much as I try to imagine myself doing it, I cannot picture dropping F-bombs with my Homey J (Jesus).


mac

Moving

Having moved twice in the past month, 3 times in the past year and 8 times over the past 4 years, I am truly sick of moving boxes and furniture. As crazy a it may seem, Melissa and I are scheduled to move one more time this winter, hopefully to a more permanent location. Don't be fooled by the smiles of a couple under paid actors, moving is annoying and painful (I've still got the bruises to prove it).

Why Actors and Musician Tend to be Nincompoops

Here we go again with an elitist Hollywood type making a fool of herself. Sally Field decided to take the obligatory plunge into American foreign policy in her acceptance speech at last night's Emmy Awards. Once again, a limited knowledge base plus an arrogant know-it-allness sets the stage for hilarity.

Her parting shot (after babbling) declared that mothers are not violent and war would end if mothers ruled the world. Really? What about the mothers of suicide bombers who, for $25,000 from Saddam Husein's Iraq, encouraged their children to blow themselves up? Are those the mothers she is referring to? Perhaps it's Golda Meir, or Margaret Thatcher, or Indira Ghandi?

Such rhetorical bullying and simplistic analysis continues to frustrate me. Whats more, the media gives the media a pass when it comes to such pedestrian ways. I'm sure that the code pinkos will call on Sally to be the keynote speaker at their next die-in rally (warning, saucy language).

mac

We're in!

Yes at long last we're in our new apartment... though as i write this, i'm sitting in what will be our bedroom in our virginian home. We arrived on Tuesday with all our stuff and the apartment was ready to move into -- save for a broken toilet seat cover, a tap that needed to be installed and some very dirty surfaces. But thanks to the hard work of some family friends, my dad and aunt the place was looking good by dinner time on tuesday (though we admit it was also very very cluttered still with boxes everywhere!!) After trips to Ikea, Canadian Tire and the garbage bin (to get rid of boxes and such) it really is quite cozy -- if a little cramped. It's home!

It was quite comical though -- the first meal we make (chilli in the crockpot) we discovered we had no can opener -- which not only made opening the cans of beans a challenge but the tin of coffee for Mac as well. To the rescue: Melissa's swiss army knife (never move in without one)! Then at dinner we realized that we were seriously lacking in serving utensils. But all has been worked out and slowly missing pieces to the kitchen and the rest of the apartment are being added! Life is good.

then shortly after settling in, Mac and i packed up and headed south --- yessiree we're in Virginia Beach right now. On sunday (the 16th) is our Virginia/Stateside reception. We also need to empty Mac's furniture out of storage down here... so after moving in once we get to do it again! But i figure by now we're moving in pros and it shouldn't be a problem (that and Mac has less stuff than me so it won't be as much to move!) We're looking forward to seeing friends and family at the reception from both sides! It should be fun.

Well its time to be off -- need to shower or nap or unpack a box or something before dinner!

Saturday (Sept. 1) is moving day... no wait we mean Tuesday (Sept. 4)

So somethings just never go as planned.
Sept 1 was supposed to have been our moving day.... but oops Someone had other plans!
On friday (August 31) we showed up at our almost-ours apartment... only to find there was no door knob. Well that was the least of the issues. There were two sinks waiting to be installed, the plumbing in the bathroom was not yet completed, the linoleum was still yet to be replaced, the drawer on the stove was broken and there were tonnes of paint tubs in the living room (we think the painting might have been completed). So in a less-than-impressed mood I (melissa) called the super to find out what was going on. Well the guy we signed the lease with had been fired for (surprisingly) not following through on anything he said he would do.

So new plan: move furniture only into a corner in the living room and stay for a few more days at my parents. So we go to waterloo Friday night to stay over at my grandparents and wait for U-haul to call us with a truck. 1pm still no truck. So Mac called to find out what was going on -- all their computers had crashed and they were having troubles linking clients with trucks. So We rescheduled until Tuesday (and have received a 50% discount!). We also talked (again) with the interim super and it sounds like our apartment SHOULD be ready for tuesday (which happens to be tomorrow) when we move in. So here's hoping. Oh, and it is possible that Mac might be able to get some work as an "independent contractor" to help with stuff around the buildings. So things look like they are going to work out pretty well.

As all of the interruptions of the move started to begin, both Mac and I were getting pretty frustrated and disappointed. We were really looking forward to moving into our own place. We just kept praying that God would work things out in such a way that everything works well -- and now we have just that! Thank you Lord!

So now... its off to finish prepping for the move!